Covenant Spotlight
What will you do when I’m gone? What will you do when I’m gone?
What will you do when I’m gone?

In my years

By Christy Boutte


   In my teens, 20’s and early 30’s, I would often get depressed thinking if I died, would anyone come to my funeral? Would it be an embarrassment for the person that had made the arrangements? Would anyone even remember who I was, or care enough to acknowledge that I had died?

   Looking back on those earlier years, I realize how terribly insecure and insignificant I felt. How sad to live a life only to wonder what people would do once I was gone. Today, I am thankful those thoughts no longer torment me. I can’t help but think what changed in me. What could have possibly made a young woman feel such despair from wondering if she would be forgotten after she had passed? Was her being not meaningful in the present life? What was missing to cause such a vacuum of worth? 

   Now in my 50’s, having gone through many of life’s up’s and down’s, I can think of only one thing that has been life-changing enough to truly break the recurring and taunting spirit of gloom and despair over my life, and replace it with a refreshing and enduring spirit of love and joy. Can there be a force so powerful, that it can change a mindset of dread and anxiety to one of peace and harmony?

   The answer is yes. His name is Jesus. The Creator of the universe, the maker of heaven and earth. My God picked me up when I was so far down. He cleaned me up and continues to clean me up daily. He turned me around from the destructive road I was on and gave me new meaningful life with a purpose…to know Him and to make Him known. 

   Won’t you agree to meet with Jesus today? Ask God to reveal Himself to you, to show you who He truly is and how much He wants you to know Him. His love is waiting to fill your life and give you purpose. This is all that will matter once we are gone…what did we allow Jesus to do in our hearts and through our lives while we were here. 

Christy asked Jesus into her life in 2006. Since then, she has been on a journey to know Him more and make Him known more. 

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