Not giving up, but making a plan
By Patrice Lewis, APCC
A woman who is pregnant has three options to consider for the outcome of the pregnancy. The woman can choose to parent her child. Parenting is rewarding. But, for the woman does not have support needed to raise a child, parenting can be overwhelming. 72% percent of the women we serve through A Pregnancy Center and Clinic (APCC) are single women. Our state has the highest number of single mother led households, according to Life of a Single Mom, a Baton Rouge ministry with a focus on helping mothers parenting alone.
Life of a Single Mom also cites some of the challenges single moms experience. One is the lack of support and involvement from the father of the child. 66% of single moms work, but half of their income goes to childcare. The other half may pay for food, housing and medical care for herself and her child. Being a single mother is far from easy, but many mothers manage to do it.
Consequences of abortion
Another consideration for the pregnant woman is to abort her baby. Abortion seems to be ideal because it is an immediate solution to a long-term “problem.” Yet women who have had abortions tell us abortion is not a solution to an unplanned pregnancy. Abortion has an immediate consequence for the baby and has long-term impact on the mother.
During any type of abortion, a baby dies. But the mother also dies. She dies emotionally, and spiritually. She participated in taking the life of a human being who did nothing to deserve death. And the worst part about abortion is that in most cases, it is final. A woman who regrets aborting her child, can never bring her child back.
Adoption outshines single parenting and abortion. Many women, who come to APCC, will state, “I could never carry my child for nine months and then give it up.” And this is where APCC can encourage adoption. Now, to be clear, APCC is NOT a licensed adoption agency, so we do not start adoptions. But we discuss adoption with the woman.
We want her to know adoption is a good option, and one that she does not have to be afraid of or ashamed of. I remember talking with a woman who wanted an abortion. I mentioned adoption to her. Her response was, “Don’t I have to pay to place my baby for adoption?” A woman never has to pay to place her baby for adoption. By the end of our conversation, she had an understanding she did not have before.
We offer client sessions to pregnant women over the course of her nine months of pregnancy. At each session, we share information about adoption. We do this because we have seen a woman’s situation change through her pregnancy. The mother will choose life at the beginning, but consider abortion in the middle.
Focus on the Family (www.focusonthefamily.com) provides a perspective of adoption that woman may not consider. Women should see adoption as not “giving up” her baby, but instead, she is “making a plan” for her baby. This is my favorite part of the adoption discussion. Changing adoption from “giving up” a baby to “making a plan” for a baby, changes the pregnant woman’s view of adoption. “Giving up” a baby makes the woman feel as if she doesn’t care about her baby. “Making a plan” helps to the pregnant woman feel she has a role in determining the life her baby will have.
Making an adoption plan for allows the mother to assess her current situation, pros and cons. Then she can then proceed with making a plan that would allow her to give her baby the life that she wants for him or her. Focus on the Family defines adoption as the mother creating a plan that has her child’s best interest at heart, and that provides parents to the child and all the things needed for the child to thrive. Doesn’t this statement make adoption more appealing?
We cannot perform adoptions. But we do refer women to the licensed adoption agencies in Louisiana. Money from the Choose Life License plate allows APCC to provide groceries, housing and utilities to women considering adoption. Women who place for adoption need to know they are heroes and selfless, and should be championed.
For more information, please reach out to A Pregnancy Center and Clinic at 337-232-5509.