Following God's will
By Dawn Gotreaux
“I am scared that I cannot do what God has called me to do,” was my journal entry back in the Fall of 2005. At that time, we were jumping through hoops for our adoption in Guatemala. The “scared” part was just how was I going to be a mother of 10? “Will I fail?” “Will I get it right?” “How hard will this be?” “Will I be lazy?” All of these questions were written in my journal. I knew that God was directing our steps with their adoption. He was showing Himself in every way and still I had self-doubt.
My last three lines of that entry state, “Lord, shouldn’t your grace conquer all of these? I have so much to learn. Lord, teach me.” I didn’t know then that it would be a year and half later before the adoption would be cleared for our four children to come home. Had I known, maybe I would not have been worried or admitted where I was spiritually and emotionally in my journal. I would have missed Him speaking to me and teaching me important things in that year and a half. In that year and a half, I saw Him answer my secret prayers about our adoption. I saw Him open doors in Guatemala with their adoption that only He could do!
I prayed until I had no words. I prayed fervently. I prayed like our lives depended upon it. I wouldn’t let go of it. God put this in our hearts; we knew it was His will. To walk in His timing was the hardest part. In His timing, He prepared me, He groomed me, He changed me. I needed that time. I needed that time to rest in Him, to learn to intercede, to trust, to change.
As I look back to this entry that was written 13 years ago, I can see how God used it to give me a mission to be the mom that I needed to be, to seek Him in being the mom He created me to be. May you be encouraged to seek Him, to walk in Him, rest in Him, and know that He does direct your steps.